Being human during times of grief

This week I’m here, in the collective grief and mourning for the many mass shootings in California this week. I don't have any magic wand that helps me say the perfect thing or will necessarily soothe even my heart, much less anyone else's.

But I can do my best to remind us how important it is to be human right now.

Engage with and reach out to people in your life–not in an alarmist way, but in a let's connect and be real humans together kind of way. I know many of us default to simply asking each other, “How are you?” as a starting point for connection. But that seemingly simple question can be a big, complicated question while we grapple with our many emotions.

Here are a few alternatives:
✳ Share what you're doing to take care of yourself today with someone else. Truly, it's an undertaking to make sure you are fed, watered, bathed, rested, and engaging with what you love or enjoy in times of grief.

✳Share how you are staying grounded. Share what you’re reading, listening to, eating, wearing, making, and watching that’s soothing and caring for your well-being today.

✳Narrow your time/gaze to focus on what you’re up to this hour, this afternoon, this week, or over the next seven days of January (rather than trying to plan for forever). Encourage others to do the same.

Make space to be human. That might mean taking a nap, taking a walk, or calling a friend and leaving a message. It might mean stopping to read a book for a bit or texting someone something that made you smile today.

I hope you can find space to hold the complexity of the both/and of this tea/coffee tastes good and soothes me but doesn't change reality. I can be present in this reality while I set a timer and just breathe, even if only for just 60 seconds today.

Sending love and holding compassion and space for our collective grief.

If you need support or want a DEI practitioner who will work with your org about how we can address systems for taking care of humans with your organization, please reach out and schedule an appointment with me, I would love to be of service.